Sometimes when your credibility drops low enough, you begin feeling around down there for the fabled “bottom” - well, I think we found it! Yep, it’s the worst & most tasteless “article” yet on VG, all about big old virtual hooters & who’s got the best ones. And yes, I just wrote that.

The only rule ( we have some standards ): No sprites – only full bodied, polygonal babes allowed ( Sorry Mai ).

10 ) Tifa Lockheart – All the way from the distant past we present the gravity abstaining young heroine from Final Fantasy VII, mostly on the basis of the ( at the time ) state of the art cut-scenes. A little primitive looking to our jaded, modern eyes perhaps but damn.

9 ) Bloodrayne - What this series lacked in many areas was made up for in this vampire lass’s skimpy costume & generous chest pillows. Nothing makes up for the films, though.

8 ) Those God of War Chicks – The world’s best mini-game, no list ( of this kind… ) would be complete without these mythological honeys. Or as stueynet put it in our “planning meeting”: “Those God of War hookers – hot“. The censored image is all about my laziness in finding an uncensored one, not about any prudery on our part – sorry.

7 ) Samus Aran – Nice way to make games for kids, Nintendo. Really, really nice. What the hell were you thinking with that painted on costume & come hither look – I mean, standards, you know? There’s no excuse for this kind of image in media aimed at youngsters.

6 ) Trish – From the Devil May Cry series, just pure blond, pneumatic hotness. Maybe I’ll even play this game one day.

5 ) Lara Croft - Right, of course I had to include her, but how could you not? Nice rack, Ms Croft, nice going.

4 ) Nina Williams – They don’t look all that big in this picture ( or any other image I was able to source after looking for half an hour ), but trust me, Nina has some nice big breasts.

3 ) Kasumi – It was hard to find a big chested girl in the DOA games, but I include Kasumi here in the hope that future games in this series will pay some attention to this feature.

2 ) Rachel - See Team Ninja, you can design a nice chest when you want to. The plucky co-star of Ninja Gaiden, Rachel’s likes include killing things, chafing & women’s liberation.

1) Taki – Almost every woman in Soul Calibur 4 has giant breasts, but I chose Taki because of the sheer overkill combination of size & presentation. Nice way to fetishize breasts, Namco – you win! And so do all of us ( all of us who aren’t justifiably angry & disgusted women ).

So there you have it, our worst ever top 10 list featuring 10 lovely videogame babes who are not only great fighters, but also undoubtedly great swimmers.