How I felt after the game

What kind of crap was that?@#%@? Hardly any enemies, NO BOSSES and it was over faster than the first time I violated my best friend’s teenage secretary! This game is short, void of vastness and is lacking big time.

What kind of skanky game developers design a game for multiple systems but only actually complete all the levels for one of them? Crystal Dynamics, Eidos…you suck large!

Honestly, that is some serious bull$@$@! The only consolation is that you can finish it in a couple hours, return to the store you bought it from and smash it over the head of the dick sales rep who told you it was good. But yay for anybody who has the CRAP BOX 360 as you are the lucky winners of some sure to be slutty DLC.

Yes yes while Laura’s ass looks very nice in the wet suit, the graphics are great, controls half decent and the puzzles while not very hard are quite enjoyable…these slut game designers and developers royally screwed us over in this installment.

Crystal Dynamics, Eidos…unnacceptable.