Adsense Adverts on the Geek - Laughing at the weird and the wonderful. (NSFW)
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
Recommend
26 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
Whenever possible the Geek gives you a board gaming advert when this isn't possible the Geek turns to Google AdSense. Uh oh - the flood gates are open now!

This geeklist is to document and share the weird, wonderful and wacktacular that Google AdSense provides to the Geek's users, and to build up some picture about the assumptions that are made about the Geek's users.

I've got Geek AdBlock but I won't be putting it on for all the farms in Cuba. If you do have it on here is some of the stuff your missing.

NSFW and Adult Content

This geeklist is aimed at adults and will reference adult things. It's NSFW in that it may have some of the less desirable adverts in it and if your boss reads back some of the content you might feel silly.

Rules:
Nothing Boardgame related.
A picture or it didn't happen.
Your post must end with "The Geek's Users are X (based on the content of the advert and your analysis)
Try to be funny or charming or whimsical.
No Busen Memo


How to re-size images:

Images on the Geek are displaced by default small. To make them larger edit your post and put 'large' or 'original' after the id.

[ imageid:87838 large ]
Remove the spaces after and before the brackets.
Your Tags: Add tags
Popular Tags: [View All]
  • [+] Dice rolls
1. Board Game: Spite & Malice [Average Rating:5.88 Overall Rank:7724]
Board Game: Spite & Malice
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz
laugh What a charming advert.


Look at that woman's smile. No she's not selling dentures. She is smiling like a loon to show you how much she really, genuinely cares that you've been injured - she's like the mother you never had.

Bear in mind though, you've just told her you're injured and she is smiling like the cheshire cat. What the hell - there is a time and a place! What's wrong with this woman?

I also like the font and decision to use capitals and flashing letters - HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED!?! - Yes as a matter of fact I've got a burst ear drum and I'm having an encephalitic fit on the floor.

Also note the service is so personalised that you can click on where you've been injured... and be taken to the same page regardless of what you selected. Now that's service - it's not just about making a fast buck from poor folk.

Ring Ring... Ring Ring

"Accident advice helpline. Nasty insensitive part-vampire part-parasite Nancy speaking, how can I help you?"

"Yes I'm calling because my wife has been in a car crash that wasn't her fault (sobs down the telephone) the doctors say she's going to be paralyzed from the waist down..."

"Congratulations that's excellent news! I'll pass you on to Dave in claims."

The Geek's Users love a court case and can be easily manipulated into suing anyone for a profit.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
2. Board Game: The T-Shirt Game [Average Rating:5.11 Overall Rank:18296]
Board Game: The T-Shirt Game
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz


Ah, a fairly infamous advert. The one that AdSense reserves for when someone else is in the room or for when you're at work.

What are they advertising?

Breasts?

No look again.

Novelty T-Shirts with semi-funny semi-offensive things on them. Um how do we know this? Well the text tells us. They must have a lot of faith in the product considering we can't even see the shirt, which in a classical understanding isn't even really a T-shirt, let along the funny/offensive slogan.

Actually it's not that they don't have a lot of faith in their product it's that they don't have a lot of faith in the consumers. YUK!

This said I've seen this advert so many times that I barely react to it anymore, I just focus on the girls tan line and think it's about time to phone my mum.

The Geek's Users are all attracted to women and so sexually inexperienced/frustrated that you can sell them anything provided you show them a picture of someone's breasts in the marketing.
7 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
3. Board Game: The Nurses Game [Average Rating:0.00 Unranked]
Board Game: The Nurses Game
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz



Now I know what your thinking but no I don't work in medicine.

AdSense has just on a whim thought I should invest in a female nurse's uniform... I mean why would I need a third one - the second one fits me like a glove.

It's worth saying that nurse in contemporary society is of course a unisex term, having moved away from being a giver of nutrition to a carer of the sick, despite the fact that many in society can't seem to come to terms with this. (Insert your own funny line rectally?.. meh I'll come back to this one.)

The Geek's Users are Caring and like to dress up in uniforms.
(well the second parts definitely true.)

2 
 Thumb up
0.10
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
4. Board Game: Police Precinct [Average Rating:6.92 Overall Rank:1617]
Board Game: Police Precinct
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz


Yay! One of my favourite adverts that breaks all the rules. This advert is targeting women or gay men and focuses on a male model. Yay!

Now that's the good news, the bad news is that AdSense thinks it's about time I dump my girlfriend of 6 years, move out of her apartment and instead find a hunky policeman to serve and protect me.

... I know what your thinking - What have I been Googling?

Hard Justice
Handcuffs
Why are police offers so rough
Strip search
Jeff Stewart (actor)

But I clear my history.

The Geek's Users have a deep respect for law and order and love dressing up and uniforms so much so, that love could conquer all if you let us try on your police hat.
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
5. Board Game: Starlord [Average Rating:5.60 Unranked]
Board Game: Starlord
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz


Yes we've all had this one, right? Yes we've all clicked on it. Yes we were all a little bit hopeful by the combat line and then a little bit disappointed when it turned out they weren't real lightsabers.

Still buying one of these will only put you up in my books. Cool as school and the chap that they have in their videos is excellent!

The Geek's Users love Star Wars and all wish lightsabers were real. Though clearly they wouldn't be used when unboxing by anyone bar Tom Vasel.
5 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
6. Board Game: Sex and the City Trivia Game [Average Rating:3.90 Unranked]
Board Game: Sex and the City Trivia Game
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz


I'm being a bit naughty here but when I first saw this I honesty though it was for an adult game. Doesn't 'city girl' sound a bit like a euphemism for a sex worker? I've only got the image to go on and she's lying on a bed so... oh wait it's a kid's game made by Disney.

The Geek's Users love cartoons and to play kids games, aimed at teaching them how to socialise and grow up, from the safety of our spare rooms.
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
7. Board Game: Star Trek: The Next Generation Collectible Dice Game [Average Rating:5.13 Overall Rank:18476]
Board Game: Star Trek: The Next Generation Collectible Dice Game
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz


What is it?

I reckon it's some sort of scanner to search for precious metals...

Why

Because we are geeks and like that sort of stuff. Who among us can honestly say we don't own a metal detector?

Actually...

What I really love is the design. Clearly someone has decided that geeky losers are the target market and so lets make it look like one of them things from Star Trek as possible... that'll trick those freaks into buying it. I'm half surprised the company's name isn't Cardassia.

Personally I've found with mine that if you set the oscillations on the X read to lower than 10k hertz, while you'll experience some reduction in the density range column, overall you'll end up with faster and for the most part equally reliable result.

The Geek's Users are all Star Trek fans and they'll eat up any old shit with a spoon that sees technology and Star Trek combined.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
8. Board Game: Marketing [Average Rating:3.50 Unranked]
Board Game: Marketing
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz


Um what is Red diesel?

Within the UK and some other countries Diesel that is going to be used in certain commercial settings, farming for example, is untaxed or taxed at a lower rate. Now to stop Dodgy Dave from using this in his car, the diesel is dyed (red in the UK) to make non-comerical use of it easier to detect.

So what's going on in this advert

This advert to me looks like it might be from Dodgy Dave offering to sell me some cheap diesel on the sly (I may be wrong). Let's assume that this is not the case... why on earth are they advertising this openly to any old UK internet user?

What really tickles me about this advert is I reckon Dave's Cousin, Ian the insomniac was put in charge of coming up with the advert. Think he might have been on his 7th Red Bull of the day when he brilliantly came up with the colour scheme?

The Geek's Users are totally addicted to Red Bull, always want to buy in bulk and equally always up for a bargain, even if it means buying from too good to be sellers.
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
9. Board Game: Roads & Boats [Average Rating:7.74 Overall Rank:377]
Board Game: Roads & Boats
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz




So this one had me giggling silly. Apparently there is a lot of money in loans that use boats as collateral.

My favorite line is 'boat can stay where it is'. I also love that they can lend you up to 1mil!!!! - WTF sort of customers do they have?

"Our target market are the big fish from private schools that will take out a loan against their yacht to buy 65 keys of coke from a Jamaican drug Barron. We get paid once they smuggle the drugs into Florida... if they get caught we own their yacht which will remain in the hands of the FBI."

Please also note that they don't even include an image of a boat in their advert. Honestly, I think these folks may have got confused between boat and say house. Rookie mistake.

The Geek's Users all have boats, are interested in taking out loans over the internet using their boat as collateral from a company that don't appear to know what a boat is.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
10. Board Game: The Farmers Market [Average Rating:5.42 Unranked]
Board Game: The Farmers Market
Liam
Scotland
flag msg tools
admin
badge
I am BGG's official honey trap
Avatar
Microbadge: Appreciate the little things in lifeMicrobadge: I love EuropeMicrobadge: It's not over 'til it's overMicrobadge: Thumbs up says 'I Love You' in that icky BGG kinda way.Microbadge: I love the NHS
From gallery of monkeyhandz


Yes! I give you a classic bit of cool Britannia response to the yanks glitz and glam. On your Tshirt advert an all American girl with her all American breasts. Our response?

A close up of a farmers eyes who is on crack! Ha - that's marketing. Get Don Draper on the phone there is a call from a Nathan Barley.

"And this little pig when to market, to score some blow."
"And on that farm he had some crack."

The Geek's Users are a classy bunch, though less so the Brits.
4 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
11. Board Game: Twilight Struggle [Average Rating:8.30 Overall Rank:9] [Average Rating:8.30 Unranked]
Board Game: Twilight Struggle
Wendell
United States
Yellow Springs
Ohio
flag msg tools
Si non potes reperire Berolini in tabula, ludens essetis non WIF.
badge
Hey, get your stinking cursor off my face! I got nukes, you know.
Avatar
Microbadge: World in Flames fanMicrobadge: The Kinks fanMicrobadge: It doesn't matter who you are - you can go to a library and read anythingMicrobadge: Liberty Roads fanMicrobadge: Wilbur and Orville Wright - pioneers of powered flight
A BGG user from Greece posted about Romania and here's the advert that showed up:

From gallery of wifwendell


7 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
12. Board Game: Hollywood Players [Average Rating:4.60 Unranked]
Board Game: Hollywood Players
Wendell
United States
Yellow Springs
Ohio
flag msg tools
Si non potes reperire Berolini in tabula, ludens essetis non WIF.
badge
Hey, get your stinking cursor off my face! I got nukes, you know.
Avatar
Microbadge: World in Flames fanMicrobadge: The Kinks fanMicrobadge: It doesn't matter who you are - you can go to a library and read anythingMicrobadge: Liberty Roads fanMicrobadge: Wilbur and Orville Wright - pioneers of powered flight
The Progressive insurance lady Flo seems to be leering at Brad Pitt...

From gallery of wifwendell
6 
 Thumb up
0.01
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
From gallery of wifwendell
Wendell
United States
Yellow Springs
Ohio
flag msg tools
Si non potes reperire Berolini in tabula, ludens essetis non WIF.
badge
Hey, get your stinking cursor off my face! I got nukes, you know.
Avatar
Microbadge: World in Flames fanMicrobadge: The Kinks fanMicrobadge: It doesn't matter who you are - you can go to a library and read anythingMicrobadge: Liberty Roads fanMicrobadge: Wilbur and Orville Wright - pioneers of powered flight
While checking out Belyakoff's profile, adsense decided to show me some other Russians.

From gallery of wifwendell
6 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
14. Video Game: Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour [Average Rating:7.17 Overall Rank:1382]
Video Game: Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour
William Hostman
United States
Alsea
OR
flag msg tools
designer
I've been Banished to Oregon... Gaming in Corvallis, living in Alsea... Need gamers willing to try new things...
badge
The Splattered Imperium
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: Golden RPG UploaderMicrobadge: RPG Geek of the Week!Microbadge: RPG Geek of the Week!Microbadge: Golden RPG Collector
I love mario golf. I kinda like real golf. but I haven't golfed in 18 years. Even then, I was the guy with 3 used clubs recovered from the water hazard, playing in the middle of the night to avoid greens fees...

So, a golf add I can only half see... not that anything in my google profile should at all imply I am a golfer...

From gallery of aramis


great job there, Google. ..
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}