The Diary of Chad Thriftington III
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Recommend
41 
 Thumb up
4.75
 tip
 Hide
Chad Thriftington III, who is he, where did he come from, where did he go? These question have bewildered the game-savvy and game-ignorant the world over for decades (or at least for minutes). Some say he was a Man Among Men, others say he was a God Among Men, still others say he was a Stud Among Women, but however you view Chad Thriftington III, it appears that he is almost everything to everyone.

Several years ago, a young man purchased, what HE thought, was a set of Encyclopedias at an unnamed thrift store. When he lugged his treasure home, he discovered that the multi-volumed monstrosity was, in reality, a hand written diary of one of the most impressive men to ever trod the sod. Sadly, through a combination of mysterious code and bad penmanship, the diary must be deciphered through a laborious means involving the periodic table of elements, the Book of Daniel, and a case of Kayo chocolate soda.

Here, then, we shall compile all of the excerpts that have been gleaned from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III. Read them, and aspire to follow in the footsteps of the greatest man known to men.

UPDATE - Well, I've put a lot of work into translating these excerpts but I'm sure some of you folks have discovered some of the more obscure references. I'm more than happy to reward your hard work to uncover them. A shiny shiny .05 to the first person who finds each reference and posts it as a comment. The number of references are listed in the comments under each entry and they could be people, places, dates or events. Happy hunting.
Your Tags: Add tags
Popular Tags: Chad_Thriftington_III [+] [View All]
  • [+] Dice rolls
1 , 2  Next »    |  
1. Board Game: Totally [Average Rating:5.89 Unranked]
Board Game: Totally
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III:

April, 11 1974


Diane had been toying with me, dropping hints that she knew something about the KGB plans to poison the US water supply with flouride. No matter how I appealed to her sense of honor or patriotism she would not budge. I decided to make a bold play, one that could endanger not only my relationship with Diane, but my life as well.

I planned to wear that sporty turtleneck, the one Diane purchased for me in Muncie, Indiana that time back in '62 when we defeated the Red Menace when they were altering the all of the grade school history books so that it appeared that Thomas Jefferson had sired a bastard Negro child. I was hoping that the sight of my manly frame tightly contained within its woven burgundy goodness might possibly melt her heart, a heart that was growing colder and colder towards freedom and Capitalism and warming more and more to the sound of "Comrade!".

I jumped into my Matador and sped over to her place to pick her up for dinner and then back to my place for a rousing game of Totally (a game that Diane hardly ever won but almost always led to a night of "revenge"). As I rolled to a stop in front of her apartment a shot resounded from a nearby alleyway and the windshield splint.....


End of excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
7 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
2. Board Game: Royalty [Average Rating:6.52 Overall Rank:11568]
Board Game: Royalty
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Board Game: Royalty

Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

August 23rd, 1972


Sometimes words fail me, not often, but sometimes. I remember an incident that involved the Sovereign Grand Inspector General of the Guthrie, Oklahoma Freemason lodge, his mother, her orphaned poolboy and Tanya Tucker. The five of us had taken a trolley ride around the city, taking in sites (such as the saloon where Tom Mix rode his horse onto the bar) when the Inspector General remarked that he was not only descended from royalty on his mother's side but on his father's side as well.

It was at this moment that Miss Tucker snorted a pistachio out her nose, some say in derision, others, the trolley driver included, swear that it was an epileptic response to a flashing crosswalk signal. No matter the reason, the Inspector General's mother was deeply offended. So much in fact that she demanded that she and Miss Tucker face off at sunrise the next morning with dueling pistols at twenty paces.

I generously offered to be Miss Tucker's second and the orphaned poolboy was to be the second for the Inspector General's mother.

The next morning was foggy as we stood out in the stockyards outside of town. A slow freight train was pulling into the station, bringing with it the weekly rations for the Irish living in town working on the new railroad spur. Suddenly a shot rang out from the cattle barn and...

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
7 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
3. Board Game: Nebula [Average Rating:7.00 Unranked]
Board Game: Nebula
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Jan 3rd, 1976


The Bicentennial year was barely upon us when I had gotten a call from the Supreme High Command. It appeared that some Viet Cong had been discovered with cryptic plans for some 'disaster' that could upset the celebration on July 4th.

Since I had encountered the Cong a few years earlier (while rescuing John McCain whilst delivering a sound paddling to the backside of Jane Fonda) I knew that I had to go undercover, utilizing my Doddering Retiree disguise.

I called a quick meeting of my crack undercover team, consisting of Strawberry Shortcake and Ralph Malph (obviously their stage names). Using the 3D Infiltration Simulator, I explained how Shortcake would use her feminine wiles to distract the guards at the Cong Embassy while Malph and I climbed up the elevator shaft in gorilla costumes.

I was about to reveal our escape route when the lights suddenly went out and we heard a shot fired from the windo...

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
6 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
4. Board Game: Scrabble Sentence Cube Game [Average Rating:4.70 Overall Rank:19437]
Board Game: Scrabble Sentence Cube Game
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Nov 4, 1971


I had just returned from the United Kingdom where I had successfully helped foil a plan to sabotage the launch of the Prospero X-3. The trail had led to a gang of Chinese thugs hiding in the Congo, but when I stormed their hideout, all I discovered was a cryptic note stating they were responsible for the intimely death of Shamu a few months earlier.

I had stepped out of the shower, having washed the Congonese dirt from my chest hair, when the phone rang. It was Tonya! What was SHE doing back in town? I hadn't seen that blonde bombshell since she had saved Hubert Humphries life by pulling that sport coat full of dynamite off of him and then jumping into the Illinois & Michigan canal back in '68. Everyone; the FBI, The Illinois National Guard, the Cook County Police, myself, Mama Cass Elliot, EVERYONE, thought she was dead.

But here she was, alive, and back in love with me...or WAS she? She said she was only a few minutes away from my apartment and could she come by and catch up on old times. That was an understatement. I told her to come on by. I disabled the laser defense system and contacted my squad of ninja bodyguards, telling them to allow a blonde goddess to come on up to my place.

I dashed about the house, throwing on an old jacket and slacks when I heard the door open. It was Tonya, lovely as ever. I offered her a chair but she declined, muttering something about a phobia she had developed about chairs and how it causes flashbacks to a previous life in Atlantis.

She said she had something to show me (I grinned inwardly) and she pulled out a box of cubes with words on them. The box slid out of her hands and burst open upon the orange carpet. As we knelt down to gather the cubes I couldn't help but notice her hair, her eyes, her cleavage dress.

Then, I realized that I hadn't placed the ninja squad back on alert, for at that very moment we heard the report of a rifle, the window shattered and the bullet stru...

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
6 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
5. Board Game: Situation 7 [Average Rating:6.04 Overall Rank:13603]
Board Game: Situation 7
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

July 17, 1969


I was surprised that Mario Puzo had such a temper! He slammed down his coffee cup so hard that it shattered on the counter of the greasy spoon we were having breakfast in. "Brando!?!?!", he shouted. "That fat lipped loser? Sal Mineo is perfect for the role."

I started to apologize when Johnny Whitaker and Marlo Thomas walked in and told me they were tired of waiting out in the pickup. In keeping with my cover as a member of the Vermont Mob, I kicked Whitaker in the genitals, telling him to shut the hell up, we would get to Dispensa's Castle of Toys when I was damn good & ready and then I grabbed Marlo by the hair and kissed her hard, full on the mouth. I knew she liked it more than she let on (at least that's what Sebastian Cabot had told me, that and about her collection of Halloween outfits for her pet porcupine). Whitaker fell to the ground and started crying.

Puzo helped him up, glaring at me. "You don't have to be such a bastard just because he's redheaded."

I grabbed a pancake off the plate, stuffing the whole thing in my mouth. I washed it down with a cup of hot java, pushed my glasses back in place and said, "I have to be such a bastard BECAUSE he's redheaded, or did you forget about what happened in '53 in Spanish Fork, Utah when we lost 'Mrs. Beasley'?"

Puzo winced, "No, I didn't forget that situation, ... or the previous six." Kim Darby walked out from the kitchen, a plate of baklava in her hand when suddenly a shot rang out, shattering the plate and spraying sweet filo pastry about the room. Darby dropped to the ground, pulling out her...

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
7 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
6. Board Game: Playboss [Average Rating:6.28 Overall Rank:9820]
Board Game: Playboss
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

March 2, 1973


I had just returned from a three week assignment off Cuba, tagging jellyfish for a Top Secret Navy experiment to help predict hurricanes when I got a call from Darrin. Seems that he had somehow managed to misplace the Russian codebook that he was translating and wondering if I had borrowed it. I reminded him that it was probably still in the couch cushions where he shoved it when that frisky Swedish vixen was trying to 'seduce' him and steal the book. (I had, however, happened to walk into his apartment at that opportune time and knock a deadly hypodermic needle from her hand with my expert Savate skills).

He didn't believe me and I told him I would prove it to him. I pulled on my favorite turtleneck, jumped into my Chrysler Newport and sped over to his place.

When I got there, Robert Vaughn and Tina Louise had unexpectedly stopped by with some take-out Indian food. I was looking forward to some gongura and pork vindaloo but then they pulled out bison jerky and fry-bread. I then realized my gastric assumption was on the wrong hemisphere. Tina said that she was eating nothing but Indian food as a show of support for Oglala Sioux up in South Daktoa.

After eating the Indian food and drinking a bit too much Annie Green Springs, Vaughn and Darrin got into an argument over who, of the two, could manage a major corporation better. Tina pulled a copy of Playboss from her purse and announced that we could settle this right here, right now.

The game was a rousing economic simulation but the endgame was cut short by a sudden shot ringing out and Darrin slumping over...

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
8 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
7. Board Game: Spare Time Bowling [Average Rating:3.96 Overall Rank:19649]
Board Game: Spare Time Bowling
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

April 25th, 1973


The sun was setting but the valley was aglow from the still burning remains of the headquarters of the Lichtenstein Liberation Army. The gentle growling behind me verified that Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing would recover from their attempted brainwashing that we had rescued them from.

"That was easier than I thought," said Agent Zabka.

"EASY?!?," shouted Agent Hearst, "Are you nuts?"

"Simmer down, Patty. You don't know what manner of Hell that I had rescued William from." I smiled and gave her a fatherly punch in the shoulder. "I'm sure that evil dojo and sensei would have left scars on your psyche as well."

Hearst sighed and smiled, "You're right, Chad. I shouldn't be so quick to judge. The important thing is that we return these kidnapped pandas to their rightful owners."

"The important thing," said a muffled voice behind us, "is that you'll need to GET A BODYBAG!!! HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!"

The three of us spun around just in time to see Ling-Ling stand on her hind feet and pull out a machine-gun, bullets went flying across the snowpack.....

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
8. Board Game: Blockhead! [Average Rating:5.42 Overall Rank:18140]
Board Game: Blockhead!
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

August 17th, 1977

My head was pounding like a block of steel in a blacksmith's shop and the darkness was slowly creeping away from my eyes. I was lying on a cold concrete floor and I suspected that it had something to do with that large party at Hugh's place the previous night that involved Barbi Benton, Peter Lawford, several cases of vodka and a bundle of peyote. When I tried to sit up, I realized just how wrong I was. I was bound hand and foot and there was a tranq dart sticking out of my neck.

I heard them chortling, my captors, whoever they were, were having a good laugh at my expense. Well I can laugh too, if some other poor schlub is footing the bill.

I rolled over, blinked twice and my eyes focused on the curvaciousness of Diane, double agent, triple traitor, and four-time winner of the Grundy County Corn Festival Queen pageant (although a lot of folks say the last two wins were the result of ballot stuffing coordinated by Caesar Romero and Ricarldo Montebaun in an attempt to bomb the fairgrounds. Some things we'll never know the truth about...if I'm lucky)

"Diane, wh..why are you doing this?" I think I said.

She smiled that smile that would sink a ship. "What? Are you trying to talk? What does 'Phsh ajhiauh GHdjalkja' mean exactly?", she mocked. Okay, so I must still be pretty drugged up. I tried again.

"Diane, wh..why are you doing this?" I said, I think.

"Why? Why?," she tossed her head back and laughed. "Why would you take the mind of a young girl from the Treasure Island trailer park and fill her head with your Capitalistic lies?! Why would you take the heart of a young woman that followed you into that active volcano in Yellowstone and then tell her you didn't love her, at least not in that special way that made her all sweaty and her knees wobbly? Why did you push me into that shark tank at Sea World? You ask WHY?"

"For the record, at Sea World you tried to fry me with a flamethrower first", I countered. If I could keep her blathering like the crazed lunatic that she had become, I might be able to slide my left shoe off and and get to my laserknife. "You have to admit, you always were a little unstable since that.."

"SHUT UP! You won't distract me with your charm, your turtleneck, your.. your.. your MAN-ways.!" She turned and shouted to someone over her shoulder, "KILL HIM! KILL HIM DEAD, DEADER THAN DEAD!"

From the darkness I heard a moan and some shuffling and from the shadow, carrying a massive cinderblock over his head came...

Elvis? He had a huge scar across his forehead and a blank look on his face, drool was hanging from the sneer on his lips as he muttered, "Crush you, crush you very much."

Diane was dancing with glee, "Kill him, kill him, my zombie slave!"

I was still trying to get my left shoe off, but I looked up, Elvis loomed over me, that cinderblock had my name, number, and forwarding address all over it. I closed my eyes and said, "Don't be cruel." waiting for the impact.

It never came. I opened my eyes and Zombie Elvis had dropped to his knees. His fingers slowly let go of the cinderblock, dropping it onto his own skull, crushing the zombified goodness inside. As Elvis toppled sideways, I saw past him, to a window high in warehouse wall. There was Lisa Welchel, with a sparkling smile, a thumbs up, and a Mauser M67 with a silencer. So THAT'S why I hadn't heard the shot.

Just then a shot rang out and I felt a slicing across my inner....

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
4 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
9. Board Game: Outwit [Average Rating:5.01 Overall Rank:18955]
Board Game: Outwit
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Nov 1, 1978

Biggs Calderhead was dead. I can't say that I shed a tear, nor was I surprised. It was I who kicked his ass down into that grave and beat him to death with his own tennis racket, doused his corpse with aftershave that he regularly bathed in, and tossed in my lit zippo, incinerating the corpse.

But that was yesterday and yesterday is dead and gone, not unlike Biggs himself. Today was a new day and I was relaxing in a cabin in the woods outside Fairplay, Missouri with LoLo the non-dog-faced boy and Julie Ryan, a sweet looking agent from New Zealand that I was taking under my wing for "special training" in "hand to hand" "combat".

We had been cruising around Polk County, taking in the local color and around sunset we went back to the cabin for a nice dinner of a local favorite, Opossum Pie.

As we sat down at the table, LoLo remarked, "Wow, I'm as hungry as a dog, well, not really, but I thought it would be funny to say that."

Just then the front door of the cabin smashed inward and we were aghast to see the rotting shambling corpse of Biggs Calderhead himself, a concrete block tied to one foot. I grabbed a spatula from the table and drove my shoulder into his Adam's Apple, knocking him outside and into the mud.

Just then I saw Nancy Kulp step from behind a tree, raise a rifle, and Biggs's brains went splatte.....

End of excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
10. Board Game: Breaking Point [Average Rating:5.02 Overall Rank:17556]
Board Game: Breaking Point
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Sept 14, 1976

I stumbled out of Dr. Tongue's Evil House of Wax as the last explosion racked the building, raining hot wax down upon the sleepy burg of Rantoul, Illinois. A stray cloud obscured the moon, but I could still make out the horizontal form of Mitzy. I made my way over to her and was amazed at how slight she seemed. I started to pick her up to carry her to a safer location and was stunned back to reality.

The reason she seemed slight was that she was twenty-five years younger! Then the shock came back to me...so was I! That bastard Dr.Tongue had been conducting experiments with water from Dismal Swamp, Clackers and Billy Beer that had resulted in some weird form of youth tonic. During a fight with his main henchman, Woodjob, both Mitzy and I had fallen into the vat and we stayed submerged, thanks to my pocket oxygen tank, until Woodjob assumed we were dead.

I had forgotten about the subsequent effects of the concoction.

I managed to lift Mitzy over my shoulder and made our way into the darkness. I had no idea which way to go, where to turn, who to trust. Just then, off in the distance, I heard the shot of the cannon at Fort Clampett. Not once, but twice. That HAD to be the signa..

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
11. Board Game: Situation 4 [Average Rating:6.51 Overall Rank:7552]
Board Game: Situation 4
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Jan 21, 1968

Eighteen hours earlier I was being briefed at HQ by field agents Ken Weatherwax and Lisa Loring. They were in the process of reconstructing the stolen map of the Chinese missile bases when Maureen O'Hara walked in. She had sat down to watch the reconstruction but was unable to contain her excitement when she realized that the river closely resembled a painting in the Chrysler building that some said was a portal to summon Quetzalcoatl.

O'Hara remembered that she had a message for me and handed it over, our fingers touched, the chemistry flared and suddenly the map pieces went flying off the table, much to the chagrin of agents Weatherwax & Loring.

But that was eighteen hours ago, and a man can live several lifetimes in that span. A man can also die several times as well, as I was about to find out. I was supposed to rendevous with our man on USS Pueblo and had caught a ride on HOBO 28, a B52 Stratofortress heading overseas. My cover was that I was doing research regarding the low number of employment opportunities in Greenland for men that were considered taller than average.

We were nearing our destination when I noticed a crate in the back of the plane shift slightly. I was unsure if actually moved or it was the result of the thin air and the three Colt 45's I had downed after takeoff. I kept watching it and was convinced it was just my imagination.
I decided to move closer, just in case something were amiss.

Just then the lid exploded off the box and out jumped Diane. Before I could regain my composure, she hurled a shuriken into my right arm and another into the calf of my left leg. I reached for my pistol, not caring if my shot went wild and punctured the cabin, Diane was dangerous at any altitude.

Diane stood before me, that beautiful gloating grin on her face. "Remember what you did to me Chad? Remember how you hurt me? Remember Mrs. Beasley?"

My mind raced, and then slowed to a crawl. Mrs. Beasley? How did Diane know about HER?!? It was then that I realized that the alpaca herder back in '53 was.....Diane. The plane started spinning, or was it just me?

Diane brushed past me, "The shurikens were tainted, you well-hung fool. You'll be dead within a day." She pulled out a stick of dynamite
from her cleavage, lit it on her cigar and lobbed it the length of the plane where it banged against the cockpit door.

The pilot opened the door, saw the smoking stick of death and ordered everyone to abandon the plane. The entire crew bailed out without amoments hesitation. Diane then walked over, picked up the dynamite and pulled out the fuse. She walked back to me, took me by the hand and led me into the cockpit. She forced me into the pilot's chair and buckled me in. Drugged, I was as helpless as a child (but I was always that way around Diane). She then tied my hands behind my back and smashed the buckle on the seatbelt, destroying it completely.

"I'll be taking something from the back and... whatever cash you got," she smiled. Reached into my jacket, grabbing the wad of cash from my wallet. She then kissed me hard enough to warrant some reworking of my most recent dental work, touched me on the nose and said, "Goodbye, Chad. Or should I say, Good DIE."

She fired two rounds into the control panel, setting it aflame, donned a parachute, and left with her cargo in tow...

The plane was on fire, spinning out of control towards the surface of the ocean, my head was as murky as the bottom of a kiddie pool in a west Texas August, and the one woman I loved was about to unleash hell on the earth...a nuclear hell.

Just then I heard shots being fired and bullets were puncturing the cockpit. Only one person was crazy enough to try to kill me when I was already dying twice over.. PACO!!!!!

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
12. Board Game: Foil [Average Rating:5.53 Overall Rank:16599]
Board Game: Foil
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

July 29, 1968

"Well, what do you think?" Natalia said, standing before me in that gold foil miniskirt that was more mini than skirt.

"What I think", I said, smiling and moving across the room while handing her a martini, "is that we have plenty of time for you to model more of your wardrobe... or none of it."

Natalia smiled, taking the drink and stealing a quick sip and said "Would you be willing to help me, Chad?"

"HELP ME, CHAD!!! HELP ME!!!"

Natalia's screams were barely audible through the fog and cobwebs in my brain, not to mention the glass of that giant hourglass that she was trapped in. She pounded against the glass with her fists as the red sand started falling from the upper half, piling up quickly around her delicious ankles.

"HELP ME, CHAD!! HELP ME!! Human Scum! Feel free to help her for if you do, you are dooming President Johnson to a horrible death!" mocked Baron von Baronmeister. He stood there, towering over me, petting a snow white Persian cat. The Baron smiled that monocle-y smile, snapped the neck of the cat and then held it up to his mouth, sinking two fangs into and drinking deeply of the cats blood.

Ever since he became a vampire, that Nazi was a real bastard.

I started to lunge at him, but found that I was held to the floor by a powerful magnet that had latched onto the belt buckle given to me by George Paul earlier that year when I had broken up a bull smuggling ring in Oklahoma City. The Baron chuckled, cat blood on his lips; Natalia screamed again, the sand up to her waist. One was smug, the other terrified, but neither knew what I knew.

That despite being deep in the earth, far beneath Guatusos Peak in Costa Rica, with time running out in Baron von Baronmeister's fusion powered secret lair, I had one more trick up my sleeve. Or to be more accurate, up my pant leg.

I was wearing my breakaway pants (a bit of pre-planning for my date with Natalia)! I jumped up, my pants and belt breaking away, and I proceeded to "Go Commando" all over the Baron's ass. The Baron screamed and stabbed at me with his robotic-sword-arm but he was thrown off balance as the earth started trembling. The floor cracked open and the hourglass holding Natalia toppled over, shattering, spilling sand across the room and sweeping the Baron into the yawning fissure.

I reached out, grabbing Natalia by the wrist, and pulled her free of the deadly river of sand. "Hey, Sweetie, what you say we blow this chicken outfit?" I wise-cracked.

Natalia smiled, "Whatever you say, Chad. Since we now have this." She pulled out the folder holding the NLS. "Let's get this back to Engelbart and find you some pants. But we don't have to be in a hurry on the latter."

We turned towards the exit when the shot rang out and we were face to face with..

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
13. Board Game: Evade [Average Rating:5.82 Overall Rank:15140]
Board Game: Evade
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

April 24, 1971

The hull was still leaking, the motor was smoking, the patrol boat was finding our range with their shells, the tsunami was gaining, and I was pretty sure that the blowfish I had for lunch wasn't properly prepared.

I glanced back at Suzanne, who was reloading and then continuing to fire at the patrol boat. She looked up at me and winked, at least I think she winked since she wears an eyepatch due to that horrible encounter with mutated Communist herd of wombats in Devil's Elbow in '69.
"I'm not sure we're going to make it this time, Suz!" I shouted over the crashing waves.

"We'll make it Chad. If we don't get this microfilm to our contact on the Ryukyu Islands, there's no telling what will happen to those cosmonauts on Soyuz 11." Her bullets shattered the windscreen on the patrol boat and it suddenly cut power, slowing down. The tsunami loomed over it and then swallowed it down like Dean Martin at a Gin & Tonic buffet.

Our motor sputtered once more and burst into flame just as the hull ruptured and sea water rushed in like a gaggle of fat women at a 90% off stretch pants sale. I cursed and pounded the wheel with my fist, "DAMN, DAMN, DAMN and DOUBLE DAMN." I turned to look at Suzanne, the tsunami was now blocking the sun. "I didn't want it to end like this."

She touched her finger to my lips, "I know, but we don't have time to locate a swimming pool of jello and fourteen midget clowns so it can end like you dreamed. How about we just do this!" She grabbed me around the waist and reached up, latching onto a ladder that had just fallen from the sky.

The ladder, attached to a helicopter, barely lifted us to safety as the thundering giant ocean wave crushed our dying boat. I looked up at the helicopter to see our rescuer wave at us. "Who...?" I asked. Suzanne smiled, "Who else? Comrade Ayers."

That's when I noticed the tattoo behind Suzanne's left ear, a tattoo of a rainbow pierced by a lightning bolt..The Weather Undergr...

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
14. Board Game: Landslide [Average Rating:6.17 Overall Rank:8901]
Board Game: Landslide
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Nov. 24, 1971

Linda smiled at me, her eyes twinkling like Orion's belt in a Wisconsin midnight sky. I would have been acting upon the message those eyes brought, but I was too busy not acting because of the message that Colt Dragoon in her right hand was sending.

"How did you know it was I who was impersonating Mayor Daley at that campaign rally?" she queried.

"Come on, sweetheart. If I told you that, you'd be that much harder to find next time," I was lying, stalling for time. I had thought it really was Mayor Richard J. Daley who stood before that crowd, picked up that kitten and then bit off the head, swallowing it whole. I mean, come on, the man is a Democrat! "Of course, I was curious as to why Daley was campaigning in Portland, OR. Besides, Sugarhips, you wouldn't dare shoot me while we're in the cargo hold of a commercial jet. That could cause all kinds of unhappiness."

"That's what I love about you Chad", she smiled, "you always think there's going to be a next time." She raised the gun so that I could see straight down the muzzle.

At that instant, Robert Morse opened the door, shouting "Chad! I finally found the plans for the Soyuz air filtration system." Linda whirled around to face Morse and I made my move, jumping for her gun hand. I managed to knock the pistol from her grip but she suddenly pulled a knife from her waistband and grabbed Morse, holding him as a hostage.

I looked past Linda as I saw a man with sunglasses descend into the cargo bay while he carried a couple of suitcases. He glanced our way and then headed for the aft airstair. That's when I noticed the parachute. He was going to open the door!

I quickly kicked my right foot up into the air, sending my shoe right into the bridge of Linda's nose. She screamed and dropped the knife. Morse elbowed her in the stomach and I had just enough time to shout, "ROBERT! GRAB ONTO SOMETHING!"

Just then the aft door opened and the mystery man jumped out, quickly followed by Linda, who tumbled out without the benefit of a chute. Morse and I were both holding onto some cargo netting when I heard a sharp rip and I was suddenly sliding towards the open door and the Pacific Northwest beyond that. If only I could grab onto something, anything. That's when I heard the unmistakable sound of....

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
15. Board Game: Breakthru [Average Rating:5.82 Overall Rank:9862]
Board Game: Breakthru
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Sept 27, 1965


Agent Pratt dug the shrapnel out of his shoulder and flung it overboard. I ripped my shirt and tied it over the wound. "Ya gonna be okay, Billy?"

"It'll take a lot more than that to stop us, Chad." He gunned the boat engines even more and the craft lifted out of the water as it fought against the waves. "We have to prevent the Maru from launching, otherwise we'll never be able to get those..those..plans back to their original owners."

Another shell fell close to the boat, too close if you ask me. It was almost as if the Viet Cong are trying to send US back to our original owner. I grabbed a bazooka, loaded up a shell and told Pratt to cover his ears. Taking aim, I zeroed in on the bridge of the closing boat. I could see the horrible sneer of Aldolfo, laughing as the shells dropped closer and closer.

Even though he couldn't see me, I sneered back, "Maybe I'll put your other eye out, you bastard." and I squeezed the trigger. Looking back, I shouldn't have besmirched the character of Mr. & Mrs. Celi, maybe they were married when that evil infant sprang from their loins.

The bazooka belched flame as the projectile arched out over the waves, heading straight for our pursuers. In a moment it would all be over, but that's when Pratt slumped over the wheel and our boat swung sharply to port heading straight for.....

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
16. Board Game: Balancing Clown [Average Rating:4.00 Unranked]
Board Game: Balancing Clown
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Mar. 3, 1969


The temperature inside the Big Top had to be about 99 degrees, but it felt like a cool breeze to me, mainly due to the thick layer of clown make-up and the 104 degree fever I was running. I was taking the place of Emmett Kelly after he had accidentally swallowed the top secret findings of Agents Nambu & Susskind.

If the KGB operatives that were tailing Kelly learned that he was actually in surgery, instead of riding a unicycle across a tightrope over a pool of sharks, then the jig would be up and the United States hope of winning the race to get ARPANET up and running would be lost.

My vision was blurring and it seemed like the tent was twisting to the left and then the right. I fought back through the fever, remembering the words that Karl had told me "Laßt nicht zu, daß kleine Mädchen schlagen sie in die Hoden" which had something to do with the best way to maintain your balance.

Just then a pistol shot rang out from the crowd below, striking the left pedal on the unicycle. I heard an elephant trumpet and I started to tumble. This was it, I was going down, the crowd would get the thrill it paid for and the sharks would get an early lunch. I felt the cycle slip off the rope but just then a huge hand grabbed me around the neck and I was swinging through the air with the greatest of ease.

I looked up and saw that the trapeze artist that had grabbed me was none other than PACO!! And he had a blowgun pressed to his lips...

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
17. Board Game: Jet World [Average Rating:5.45 Overall Rank:16840]
Board Game: Jet World
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

April 2, 1975


I wiped the blood from my eyes and tried to focus on O'Donnell. "O'Donnell, are you SURE you know how to drive this thing?"

He handed me a towel. "Here, wipe that orangutan blood from your face. Let's get a few things straight. First, call me Bill. Second, I'm flying, not driving this thing. Third, no. I was just waiting for you to grace us once again with your presence so we could figure out how to get out of this mess."

I grabbed the towel and mopped monkey blood from my face, hair and turtleneck. "What else should I be aware of? I'm still kinda groggy."

O'Donnell struggled with the controls of the aircraft. "Where does one begin to tell the story? Let's see, there's a bottle of Jack there on the floor, the girl is working on Fischer's wounds in back, and depending on how bad your memory is, you're still mad that you missed the last episode of Gunsmoke. Other than that, I don't think this dial is supposed to be spinning backwards that fast."

I looked at the altimeter and O'Donnell was right. This didn't look good. "Where are we and what do we have in back?" Damn, I missed Gunsmoke?!?!

"Other than a child actress trying to bandage up a chess player? Let's see, one really large parachute, a Golf prototype, a weather balloon and 9 tanks of helium. Oh, and we're getting a lot closer to Silverton, Colorado but not in the way you would want to." Sweat was beading up on his forehead now.

"Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back." I got up from the co-pilot seat and headed through the cockpit door.

"Damn, I had planned to step out for a smoke, guess I can hang on for a minute or two, until we crash."

I ran back into the plane, grabbed the parachute and fastened it to the Golf. I glanced inside and saw the keys, good. I ran over to the other two doomed passengers. "Hey, you. How is he?"

The girl looked up, "I think he'll be okay. I was able to dig out the bullet but I don't think he'll be castling anytime soon."

"Great, uhhhh."

"Dana, you can call me Dana."

"Great, Dana, can you drag that weather ballon over to the car?"

"Sure." And she took of to do just that.

I grabbed Fischer. He was groggy so I slapped him, once, twice, thrice. He shook himself awake and I slapped him one more time. What can I say? I had the momentum going. "Grab those canisters and load them into the car, get the girl and climb in."

He shook his head and murmered "Did Plato save me?"

I slapped him again for good measure. "Karpov sends his love" and then I ran for the cockpit. I slammed the door open, "O'Donnell, how much time we got?"

"Left to live or until we crash? Let's see, 32 feet per second per second and we have about no feet left until we hit the mountains. About 30 seconds, give or take 2 minutes."

I grabbed him by the collar and yanked him through the door back into the plane. "Dana! Start the car and drive to the back of the plane. Fischer, fill that weather balloon with helium!" I hit the switch that slowly opened the back of the plane and O'Donnell & I started running for the car. Sadly, we were running uphill and Dana was driving faster than we could run. The Golf teetered on the edge of the ramp and dropped out of sight just as the balloon inflated and the chute deployed. Running full tilt, I shoved O'Donnel off the ramp towards the Golf and heard him yell over the wind "At least I won't have to send that alimony check to Diane!"

I stood on the edge amazed!! Diane!?! Did he say DIANE??? I pulled my knife from my belt, gripped it between my teeth and then jumped towards the balloon...

End of excerpt from the diary of Chad Thriftington III
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
18. Board Game: Barnstormer [Average Rating:7.00 Unranked]
Board Game: Barnstormer
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

March 7, 1970

We had no idea what was in those barrels, but it was clear by the way they were being guarded, it was something very very interesting to the Haietlik High Command. Paco and I were hiding in a corn field in an unnamed section of the SE United States, having successfully followed the shipment of barrels across Siberia, the Pacific Ocean, and Route 66.

Paco grumbled, "Did I ever mention that I'm allergic to corn?"

I didn't take my eyes from the binoculars for a second. "Nope, ya never did. Did I ever mention that non-stop whining from a short fat guy from Chile makes my trigger finger itchy?"

"Only about a thousand times. Good thing I'm from Canada.", grinned Paco.

Paco didn't know that I knew that "Canada", when spoken in Rapa Nui, sounds an awful lot like Antofagasta, Paco's hometown... in Chile. He was fooling nobody, nobody but himself. I chewed on some grass, "So what's your brilliant plan, oh great Canadian Paco?"

"We wait until dark, run in, grab a barrel and get out."

"Well, it looks like they're loading a barrel onto that old biplane. I say we jump up, rush the barn and take off with the biplane & barrel."

"But, but," stammered Paco, "They'll see us."

"No they won't, just follow me." I stood up and just then the sky grew dark, and then darker and then darker until it was pitch black.

I grabbed Paco and shoved him out of the cornfield, "A total solar eclipse, fat boy, now let's get moving."

We rushed the barn and quickly subdued the guards. Paco jumped up into the cockpit of the biplane and started the motor. It coughed and belched to life and the plane started its taxi out of the barn and onto the airfield. I started chasing after the plane, reaching for a wing, anything to grab onto. I couldn't let that slimeball take off with my prize.

Just as the plane lifted off the ground I threw myself forward onto the wing, causing the plane to swing to the left sharply.

"GET OFF! GET OFF!" Shrieked Paco, in a voice that was much too high for even he. I lunged towards the cockpit and grabbed his hair. His entire face peeled back and came off into my hands. I was hanging onto the edge of the cockpit in astonishment as I looked up into the smiling face of a pistol...and Diane!

Suddenly a shot rang out and my fingers open....

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
19. Board Game: Oh-Wah-Ree [Average Rating:5.92 Overall Rank:10555]
Board Game: Oh-Wah-Ree
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

April 22, 1969


The cup dropped to the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces, his drugged fingers unable to hold on the fine Chinese china. I grabbed his hair and pulled his head back, Gustav's eyes rolled back into his head. He was alive, but just barely.

"So", I said through my gritted teeth, "that cup of joe was meant for me and it's obvious that you didn't intend the top agent of the KGB to burst into your private railcar in order to kidnap me and then accidentally quaff your poisonous brew."

Agent Taylor smiled that smile that had lured so many men to the alter and then on to their deaths. "He won't die, that is, unless he has had his gallbladder out." She licked the chocolate icing off a cupcake in a way that made me wish I was the Pillbury Doughboy. Then I remembered that I had had my gallbladder out a week earlier. "Now if you will give those two boxes back to me, I will let you leave this train under your own power."

I had obtained the two boxes, contents unknown, from an old beggar on Vancouver Island that had stumbled from an alleyway, thrust the boxes into my arms, mumbled one word.."Minnesota", and then succumbed to the wolverine bites that covered 86% of his body.

I hated Minnesota, but I hated wolverines even more, so I was determined to get these boxes to where they belonged. How Agent Taylor had learned of the boxes or even what they contained was a mystery to me. All I knew was that we were now on a train rocketing through Wyoming and it appears that she had attempted to kill me to get them.

I glared into her beautiful blue eyes.

"What do you say, Chad? Do we have a deal? Your life for the boxes? All it takes it one word, yes or no." she smiled again, licking that cupcake, that lucky lucky cupcake.

I continued to glare at her. Then I opened my mouth and replied, "NUTS!" I spun away from her, shot out the window of her railcar and leaped out and headed downward into the Wind River. I pulled a plastic bag from my coat and hastily wrapped the boxes within it and then threw it as hard as I could towards the shore. I slammed into the cold water and surfaced as fast as I could, but I felt something huge grab ahold of my foot under the surface of the water. I reached down and felt that something had clamped onto my leg. I dived underneath to see the biggest...

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III


2 
 Thumb up
0.25
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
20. Board Game: Scrabble Crossword / Dominoes [Average Rating:4.87 Unranked]
Board Game: Scrabble Crossword / Dominoes
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

November 10, 1975


It's a well known fact in certain international circles that Jaclyn Smith had a fling with Jim Croce and that Rita Rudner was involved in such a way that she can neither confirm nor deny her part in it. What is less well known, actually, HARDLY known, was that during this time Croce was living as a prisoner in a Lithuanian undersea bunker deep beneath the Sargaso Sea since his 'death' two years earlier and that it was I, disguised as Croce, that was attempting to uncover the exact location of the stolen third reel of The Rocky Horror Picture Show that was rumored to be hidden somewhere on the SS Edmund Fitzgerald, the location suspected to be revealed by examining secret tattoos on the persons of both ladies and that it could only be revealed under black light.

The major hinderance to learning the location of the third reel was that both tattoos had to be 'placed' next to each other in the proper orientation to make any sense. I prepared for the evening by having my personal chef, Debuque, prepare fresh lobsters and chill some Annie Greensprings while I would double check all the mountings on the trapeze as well as the trampoline and other equipment.

I was almost done examining the Rodeo Clown Barrel when the doorbell rang. Jackie & Rita were never early! Who could it be?

I ran to the door and yanked it open just in time to catch Scatman Crothers as he collapsed into my arms, a huge knitting needle sticking out of his back to which was attached a note written on whaleskin with a mascara brush.

"Shdgyue vhnsl shdgehuuths murfongsh - Signed, Sparky."

SPARKY!?! How did he get off that asteroid and more importantly, why was he sending mash notes to Jim Croce. Just then a shot rang out and Scatman scre....

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
21. Board Game: Chain Letters [Average Rating:7.00 Unranked]
Board Game: Chain Letters
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt form the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Sep 2, 1969


My head felt as if someone had just tried to cave it in with a two by four. I opened my eyes and realized that I was laying face down on the sidewalk and in front of me I spied a pair of high-heeled shoes that were hooked to a killer pair of gams.

I rolled over and saw her standing there over me, Tina. Ahhhh, Tina, wearing that beautiful chain mail that I had bought for her at the Ren Fair earlier in the day. Tina, standing there with a two by four over her shoulder. Tina, who obviously had just tried to kill me.

I lumbered to my feet and Tina cooed, "I'm sorry Chad. I had to do it. That...MACHINE was trying to steal your precious cranial fluids and disrupting your brainwaves was the only way to save you." I looked to where Tina pointed and saw a machine tucked into the wall of a bank. People were using it to conduct banking business.

"Tina, the only danger that will ever come of that machine will be to cause double digit unemployment in about fifty years." I calmly removed the two by four from her hands and then kissed her. I kissed her hard and I kissed her long. And then I kissed her again.

I kissed her until she went limp in my arms, and then for good measure I kissed her one more time. The one more time turned into one LAST time, because as our lips parted, I realized that Tina was dead in my arms, a large poison dart sticking out of her left temple.

I dropped Tina and quickly scanned the crowd, the street, the surrounding buildings. Nothing. Just then I felt a slight sting on the back of my thigh and once again, some idiot turned off the lights.

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
22. Board Game: Scrabble Scoring Anagrams [Average Rating:6.38 Unranked]
Board Game: Anagrams
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt From the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

June 1972



I wasn't sure what time it was or even what day it was or, for that matter, WHERE I was. It was clear that I had been unconscious for some time. The last thing that I remembered was that Piper and Peggy had showed up unannounced at my apartment with a generous helping of Thai takeout. I happily let them in, anticipating the chance to "Thai one on" when there was a knock on the door.

I had jerked it open to discover the misshapen face of Mason Reese smiling up at me. "Do I smell Thai takeout?" He then looked over my shoulder and spied Peggy and Piper. "Ohhhh, a borgasmord!" he smiled, rubbing his pudgy hands together.

"Sorry, only enough for me this time, Mason," I said as I started to shut the door. He quickly pulled a hypodermic needle from his coat and shoved it into my leg. the world started spinning. I said, "What the devil?" and slammed into the floor.

As the lights went out, I heard him reply, "You mean, 'What the devil..ed HAM'"

That was then (whenever THAT was) and this was now (whenever THIS was) and I quickly realized that I was:

A: On a beach
B: Naked
C: Tied down, spread eagle
D: Covered in butterscotch
E: Having a flashback to my first date with Diane.

Over on a nearby rock, was a misshapen dwarf in a red tuxedo. He giggled and said, "Koi eyewear sea."

I struggled against my bonds. "Where am I? What day is it?"

"Huh, tenth anticorrosive deiety taj.", he said, pulling a corndog from his pocket.

My mind was racing. What could this madman want? "Hey, Madman! What do you want?"

He squirted mustard onto the corndog, "If I Judo thee. Hi, yellowy trustworthiness"

Just then I heard a low growling coming from the dense underbrush nearby, three large lions walked out and started eyeing me. It looked like the dwarf and I were going to playing some Beach Blanket DEATH! I pulled harder at the ropes. I couldn't let this dwarven madman blow up the White House!

The lions came closer until they were able to start licking the butterscotch off my body. Damn, I missed Diane! The dwarf held up some sort of triggering mechanism and snickered, "Y gox hyoid containerboards"

There were just a few facts that gave me peace in the midst of all of this.
Fact #1 Butterscotch, while tasty, can cause severe vomiting in lions.
Fact #2 Lion vomit can eat through rope in mere seconds.
Fact #3 June 30 actually contained a leap second.
fact #4 That one second delayed the triggering device in the dwarf's hand just long enough for the lions to vomit on my ropes, weakening them enough for me to pull free, grab a handful of mane, jump upon the largest lions back and whistling the Congonese tune for spurring forth lions, ride quickly out of range of the incoming missile that had just been launched by the Icelandic submarine that had just surfaced about 100 yards off the edge of the beach.

As the beach behind me erupted in fire, sand, and dwarven madmen mist, I turned and gave a thumbs up towards the submarine conning tower where Paco, good old Paco, was waving in reply.

Just then a burst of bullets streaked across the sand in front of me. My lion slid to a stop and reared up and that was when I saw the helicopter bearing down on me. A helicopter full of machine-gun toting nazi gorillas!!!!!

End of Excerpt From the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
23. Board Game: Strategy Rummy [Average Rating:6.00 Unranked]
Board Game: Strategy Rummy
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt From the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

August 12, 1968

I snapped my Zippo closed and looked at my cards. If we were playing poker I would probably just slit my wrists with a ketchup packet, but we were playing Polchichkafov and the large surly Pole across the table from had been winning all night.

He had the upperhand, mainly because the game originated in Warsaw back in the big one, but also the gorgeous dame on him arm was about as distracting to me as a neon clown with a whoopee cushion in a convent.

She had more curves than a Ozark backroad and her "come hither" look had my hithers all ready to oblige.The big bow on the front of her dress made promises of on hell of a Christmas when that gift was unwrapped. She sat there, stroking the big Pole's arm and nibbling on strawberries. Lucky little strawberries.

I took a quick drink of my whiskey, trying to concentrate on the game, but more importantly, trying to concentrate on my mission.. assassinate the President of the United States of America.

Yes, in about 20 minutes, I would be putting a bullet into the head of Lyndon Johnson, throwing the country into turmoil and pushing the world to the brink of nuclear war, all on the orders of Lyndon Johnson himself.

It appears that when Johnson had his gall bladder removed in 1965, something else got put in. Something sinister, something that would destroy this country. Something that I, and I alone, knew of. Something that would cost me my life, but in order to save the country and the whole world, I would have to prevent Lyndon Johnson from becoming the first Yippie President.

How the Yippies got their stinking Yippie Virus into the hospital was unknown. All that Hoover was able to tell me was the virus was slowly spreading and that there was no cure. Based on a pre-written directive from Johnson himself prior to entering surgery, Johnson had to be killed or else the country would slowly spin downward into a nation of dope-smoking, recycling, tent-living, social-awareness, peace-protesters demanding that the the rich businessmen of this great nation fork over all their money to the poor and downtrodden "99%".

There was no way we could let that happen,even if it meant that Hubert Humphrey would be President.

I felt the heaviness of the pistol under my armpit and tried to glance around for my contact. That's when I realized that my contact had been in front of me the whole time...the dame with the strawberries.

Just then a shot rang out and the Pole leapt to his feet, grabbing at his neck. At first I thought he had been shot, but he kept pulling and suddenly the mask came off.. it was Ladybird Johnson!! She grabbed a pistol from her pocket and shot the waiter, screaming "DAMN YOU GOLDWATER!! WHY WON'T YOU STAY DEAD?!?!?"

The waiter, dropping his own pistol, spun around, taking three bullets to the chest and two to the face. His disguise ruined, Barry Goldwater opened his mouth, letting his fangs descend, and hissed, "They should have called you LadyBITCH! I'll be back!" He grabbed a tray of guacamole and jumped out of the window.

As the crowd ran to the window, Ladybird turned to me and said, "So, Thriftington, do you still think you're going to murder my husband?"

I folded the cards onto the table, gently plucked a strawberry from the lips of the blonde and said....

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
24. Board Game: Jati [Average Rating:5.41 Unranked]
Board Game: Jati
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
(Note: The page that the following excerpt was penned upon was heavily damaged and the complete text may never be recovered unless new restoration methods are discovered in the future. However, since this page is rarely seen, the page will be presented as is.)

Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

May 29, 1965

Churchill was still dead, despite the best efforts of the witch doctor who claimed to be Tantonimo himself. I looked at Churchill's corpse, the cigar shoved into his loosely sewn lips and realized that I should have never listened to some crazy Podunk Indian with that crazy story about...

(text is smeared with what appears to be blood)

... and that's what I don't understand, Chad." Jenny stood there, that idol of the fertility goddess, Jati, from Ceylon under her arm, taunting my memory like a taco cart parked outside a County jail.

"Listen, doll, you helped me with getting the eagle feather and that bar of Confederate gold, but explaining it all to you will just put you into danger." I gently stroked her blond hair, pushing it away from her face.

She slapped my hand away, "Danger? I steal Goldie, transport her across two continents and then return her to the zoo; I dive down into the Georgiana in the middle of the night to haul up that gold and you're worried about putting me into DANGER? Don't forget that it was me, ME, I remind you, that took care of Liston" Her eyes were ablaze with passion. Normally I feed off that look, but this was the wrong kind of passion, this was the wrong place for passion.

I should never have confronted her with this during a wedding. She slapped me in the face, twice. "You don't love me, Chad, and you never will," she hissed between her teeth, trying to contain her anger.

I grabbed her by the shoulders, "I do. I DO!" and that's when I noticed the hush. It appears the priest had just finished asking if anyone had just cause when I shouted out my reply.

Jenny jumped up crying just as the bride burst into tears up at the altar. Everyo.....

(the text has been damaged by what appears to be cigar burns and whiskey stains)

...ide the fact that Churchill had just dug his teeth into my shoulder, I also learned that a skateboard is a terrible weapon against a Cosmonaut who thinks he's still adrift in the Van Allen belt. I swung again, hearing the wood crack against Leonov's helmet, hoping that I could at least give him one hell of a headache.

Jenny had managed to slip the gag off her mouth and then she whistled. She whistled loud and she whistled long. The stirring haunting notes carried out across the veldt and as the last note faded away, my hope went with it.

The conveyor belt Jenny was tied to slowly drug her towards the smelter, Leonov's fingers were around my neck and I could feel Churchill's incisors digging into my calf.

Just then the wall collapsed as a dozen orangutans astride fire-breathing hippos answered Jenny's coded whistle for help. As they leapt from their steeds, knives fla.....

(the manuscript appears to have been chewed on by a primate.)

..ver felt anything like that before", sighed Jenny.

"I know, doll, I know. And you probably never will again.", I smiled as I put away the concrete mixer and pushed the last opossum out the door, locking it shut for the night.

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
25. Board Game: Rhyme Time [Average Rating:3.17 Unranked]
Board Game: Rhyme Time
Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
Oklahoma
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
Microbadge: Golden GeeklisterMicrobadge: Golden MeepleMicrobadge: ChristianMicrobadge: BGG.CON Virtual Flea Market fanMicrobadge: Copper Boardgame Uploader
Excerpt From the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

Dec 4, 1969

She sat upon the ladder
Myself? I was never gladder
That Anissa was on the case,
With time we were in a race.

I looked into her eyes,
Past the Oriental disguise
Until I realized
That she WASN'T with the Commie spies.

In burst Anissa, with her pigtails
flying behind her like dual contrails.
Both guns they were a'blazing
and the bullets, my head, were grazing

Like sheep in the pasture,
Too too close..near disaster!
Then I looked upon the Asian beauty,
High above, bound by duty,

She pulled the pin with her teeth,
Tossing the grenade far beneath
Where we stood, into the earth's crust,
Into the missile silo ringed with rust.

"CHAD!" Anissa cried. And then I debated
whether the launch sequence had been initiated.
Far far below I felt a minor tremor
Until the rumble became a mighty clamor.

Sliding to a stop, a jeep driven by Paco
Shouting, "JUMP ON!". The canyon gave an echo
Of the disaster about to befall us
(Hmmm, How did I get that callous?)

Anissa dragged me into the jeep.
My sworn oath I tried to keep,
To rescue that lofty raven-haired vision
About to die (Thanks to nuclear fission)

From atop the ladder, her lofty perch,
She blew me a kiss, sweet as church
communion, and sobbed, "Oh, Chad, it can never be.
Leave me here, go, keep the world free."

Paco spun the wheel and we sped off,
The China-Doll still aloft
Until consumed by the volcanic eruption
Her life taken by THEIR vile corruption.

Our mission, it was now complete
and the dossier, itself replete
with details of how we saved Uganda.
But my heart, now brok... A MACHINE-GUN TOTING PANDA!?!?!?!

End of Excerpt from the Diary of Chad Thriftington III

1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
1 , 2  Next »    |  
Loading... | Locked Hide Show Unlock Lock Comment     View Previous {{limitCount(numprevitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
{{error.message}}
{{comment.error.message}}
    View More Comments {{limitCount(numnextitems_calculated,commentParams.showcount)}} / {{numnextitems_calculated}} 1 « Pg. {{commentParams.pageid}} » {{data.config.endpage}}
1 , 2  Next »    |