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Gabe Hawkins
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Virginia
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You are now pitted against one of your favorite video game characters. This can be any character you like -- protagonist, antagonist, or otherwise. It can be any scenario you like as well. How do you defeat them?
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Geoffrey Burrell
United States
Cedar Rapids
Iowa
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With a nuke bomb!
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Kevin Brown
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Parker
Colorado
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Me vs. Masterchief: I fall on the ground, curl up in ball and proceed with sobs of fear and regret. He feels terribly guilty over making a human behave in such a way, rethinks his path in life, and throws away his MA5 series assault rifle. In a moment of clarity not normally allowed in a FPS, he realizes that he was trained to defend humans from covvies, not create fear in humans. He realizes that he has become as horrible as the covvies he fights. Out of his Spartan armor produces a package of microwave popcorn and opens a compartment in his armor (who knew they put microwaves in Spartan armor!) and makes a nice buttery bag of fluffy goodness.
He coaxes me out of my tearful fetal state with the sweet lure of popcorn and we sit down and watch Netflix (yah, it still exists in the Haloverse!) and I talk to him about his overtly aggressive tendencies. I explain to him that shooting stuff doesn't always solve everything. Sometimes you just need popcorn.
He has a moment of clarity and declares that, henceforth, he will eschew violence and rely on popcorn. And then the Masterchief and I watch the Dragon Prince Season 2 on Netflix together. He gets a little too cozy during the funny bits so I have to explain to him boundaries. Chagrinned he he moves slightly away and dwells on this because the emotion is new to him. But he comes around, learns to respect personal space. He says that, once again, henceforth (the Masterchief is a big fan of "henceforth". This I did not not know but I'm not going to judge. I wasn't kidnapped as a child, replaced by a dead clone, and trained by Dr. Halsey to be the ultimate fighting machine) he will respect personal space, avoid shooting stuff, except the stuff that really needs to be shot, and enjoy popcorn more. And then we continue watching Netflix. He laughs at times (maintaining appropriate distance because of personal space) and punches me in the shoulder a few times while laughing. It really hurts. A Spartan II can hit really hard. But I let it go, with my broken arm and all. Because we're making progress.
I ask John-117 if we should make s'mores. He is puzzled. He has never had s'mores before. I tell him the ingredients and he begins jumping up and down in delight. Yes! Of course he wants s'mores!
At that point I know I have won.
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Gabe Hawkins
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Lurkfish wrote:
Me vs. Masterchief: I fall on the ground, curl up in ball and proceed with sobs of fear and regret. He feels terribly guilty over making a human behave in such a way, rethinks his path in life, and throws away his MA5 series assault rifle. In a moment of clarity not normally allowed in a FPS, he realizes that he was trained to defend humans from covvies, not create fear in humans. He realizes that he has become as horrible as the covvies he fights. Out of his Spartan armor produces a package of microwave popcorn and opens a compartment in his armor (who knew they put microwaves in Spartan armor!) and makes a nice buttery bag of fluffy goodness.
He coaxes me out of my tearful fetal state with the sweet lure of popcorn and we sit down and watch Netflix (yah, it still exists in the Haloverse!) and I talk to him about his overtly aggressive tendencies. I explain to him that shooting stuff doesn't always solve everything. Sometimes you just need popcorn.
He has a moment of clarity and declares that, henceforth, he will eschew violence and rely on popcorn. And then the Masterchief and I watch the Dragon Prince Season 2 on Netflix together. He gets a little too cozy during the funny bits so I have to explain to him boundaries. Chagrinned he he moves slightly away and dwells on this because the emotion is new to him. But he comes around, learns to respect personal space. He says that, once again, henceforth (the Masterchief is a big fan of "henceforth". This I did not not know but I'm not going to judge. I wasn't kidnapped as a child, replaced by a dead clone, and trained by Dr. Halsey to be the ultimate fighting machine) he will respect personal space, avoid shooting stuff, except the stuff that really needs to be shot, and enjoy popcorn more. And then we continue watching Netflix. He laughs at times (maintaining appropriate distance because of personal space) and punches me in the shoulder a few times while laughing. It really hurts. A Spartan II can hit really hard. But I let it go, with my broken arm and all. Because we're making progress.
I ask John-117 if we should make s'mores. He is puzzled. He has never had s'mores before. I tell him the ingredients and he begins jumping up and down in delight. Yes! Of course he wants s'mores!
At that point I know I have won.


Now that's an answer! haha
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Gabe Hawkins
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Me vs. Solid Snake

Easy.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
nanomachines
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John Middleton
United States
Washington
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my Hobbes is a Madcat
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ghostpants wrote:
Me vs. Solid Snake

Easy.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
nanomachines

oh it's easier than that:
Spoiler (click to reveal)
crab
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Aaron Tubb
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Fuquay Varina
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The Dragonborn from Skyrim:

Just come up with a series of lengthy fetch-quests to give him and don't give out very much money as a reward. Being a quest-giver will make me an essential NPC to him, which means I'll be unkillable. Not sure how to actually defeat him, but at least he'll leave me alone once he gets bored of doing pointless radiant-style quests.
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Aaron Tubb
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Mega Man:

I'll wait in my room like a patient robot master, but in the hallway between the two doors to the room, I'll lower the floor and place spikes along it, so Mega Man would fall onto spikes immediatley after going through the door.
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Lee Dyke
England
London, England.
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Aarontu wrote:
The Dragonborn from Skyrim:

Just come up with a series of lengthy fetch-quests to give him and don't give out very much money as a reward. Being a quest-giver will make me an essential NPC to him, which means I'll be unkillable. Not sure how to actually defeat him, but at least he'll leave me alone once he gets bored of doing pointless radiant-style quests.


... Maybe an arrow to the knee? whistle
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Thrift Thopter
United States
Massachusetts
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Some people call this junk. Me, I call them treasures.
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I'd surround Steve, from Minecraft and his respawn point with ball bearings or other balls made out of a durable material. Having never encountered anything round before, he'll slip and fall whenever he tries to get away. The existence of perfect spheres might even drive him insane.
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Made you look!
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Face McShooty.

Shoot him. In the face. I don't have a gun. I think a straw and spitball would probably do it.
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Luis
Spain
Madrid
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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A foolproof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble, then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.
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I slightly push his tank and BAM! Dead!

Bob the Killer Goldfish is all but resilient.
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wayne r
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Gameshark...
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