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War of the Human Tanks
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Through the Ages
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Mystic Vale
The Lezbian Prison
EROGE! Sex and Games Make Sexy Games
Star Fox
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Stunt Race FX
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999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors
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Nyan Cat: Lost in Space
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XCOM: Enemy Unknown
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Mark of the Ninja
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AI War: Ancient Shadows
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Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft
Romancing SaGa (2005)
Until Dawn
Lords of the Fallen
DmC: Devil May Cry – Bloody Palace
Gabe Hawkins
United States
Virginia
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I was asked this question at a young professionals/entrepreneurs meeting last week. I initially scoffed at it, but people's answers turned out to be pretty interesting. I figured, "why not share it here?"

So without revealing what your job is, what's the weirdest way you can describe it?
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Gabe Hawkins
United States
Virginia
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I technically have two jobs, but I'll just post about one of them now.

I help companies design and build multi-million dollar product improvements, then I try my best to break them.
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Patrick Zoch
United States
Kansas
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Daily Dad Jokes!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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I write rules nobody follows. (It's an exaggeration, but it sure feels like it sometimes).
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Gabe Hawkins
United States
Virginia
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pdzoch wrote:
I write rules nobody follows. (It's an exaggeration, but it sure feels like it sometimes).


Did you write the rules to Monopoly?

Exaggerations are welcome, by the way! They'll make this more interesting/fun!
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Patrick Zoch
United States
Kansas
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Daily Dad Jokes!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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ghostpants wrote:

Did you write the rules to Monopoly?


Ha! That is what we call every document we just know we be deliberately ignored or misunderstood.
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Caroline Berg
United States
Washington
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...124 to run fleeing from the mountain. ...125 to use a rope to climb the steep cliff. ...126 to quickly cast "summon stairs." ...127 to dodge under the falling rocks.
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I distill what seems like chaos into bit-sized bits of order when I help others find spectacular ways to break things.
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Ryan Ahr
United States
South Carolina
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It starts like hello and ends like goodbye...
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The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!
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I tattoo mass quantities of dead trees.
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Drew McClain
United States
Fishers
Indiana
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http://www.twitch.tv/cruxcapacitor
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This is usually how I describe my job: I count and move things all day long.
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Seth Brown
United States
North Adams
Massachusetts
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People pay me to pretend to be them.
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Rudy
United States
No too far from Philly
Pennsylvania
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I got...
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...something. :)
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I am basically a physiologist/detective.

I get paid to listen to people vent while I try to calm them down and have them keep more positive perspective. All the while I have to determine what is keeping them from doing their job effectively and then solve that problem.
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Alex
Canada
Saskatoon
Saskatchewan
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I give away other people's money.
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John Middleton
United States
Washington
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my Hobbes is a Madcat
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I get paid to be willing to fail and try again.
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Geoffrey Burrell
United States
Cedar Rapids
Iowa
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I walk in step every time I go somewhere.
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Simon Woodward
New Zealand
Hamilton
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Move to the Frenzy
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I build and analyse virtual farms.
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p55carroll
United States
Minnesota
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"This is no time to be making new enemies." --Voltaire
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"Drizzle, drazzle, drozzle, drome; time for this one to come home."
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pdzoch wrote:
I write rules nobody follows. (It's an exaggeration, but it sure feels like it sometimes).

I research and try to enforce rules most people don't know or care about, then cave in just about every time someone wants to violate or change a rule.
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Jeff G
United States
Santa Rosa
California
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These are not the droids you're looking for. You can go about your business.
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Move along.
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I'm in charge of hiring and firing and money.
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Ozan
Switzerland
Zurich
Kanton Zurich
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"Is there any tea on this spaceship?"
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I listen to old people talk (almost) every day.
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Tom Castellani
United States
Michigan
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I keep pushing buttons until inanimate objects stop yelling at me. Sometimes, I go through the same process with people.
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Made you look!
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I write recipes that make people's electronics work less well than they did before.
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Doug Hook
United States
Lansing
Michigan
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"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."
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"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
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No longer a labor statistic, savings finally of use.
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☆ ✧ ☆ ✧ ☆
United States
Minneapolis
Minnesota
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Looking at these stars suddenly dwarfed my own troubles and all the gravities of terrestrial life. I thought of their unfathomable distance, and the slow inevitable drift of their movements out of the unknown past into the unknown future. H.G. Wells
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Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. Chief Seattle
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I walk past peoples homes all day.
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wayne r
United States
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I spend more time on the phone than with the people I'm supposed to help
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Bloody Retributor
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I grease the wheels of peoples’ everyday interactions, but am largely resented.
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Ian Kelly
United States
Longmont
Colorado
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Allow me to introduce myself. I am Hexachlorophene J. Goodfortune, Kidnapper-At-Large, and Devourer of Tortoises par Excellence, at your service.
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If you can read this, then this sentence is false.
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tdphillips wrote:
I write recipes that make people's electronics work less well than they did before.


I convert bacon and kale into recipes that make people's electronics work less well than they did before.
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Chris Abbott
Canada
GTA
of Confusion
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I succumbed to peer pressure and bought OverText, then couldn't think of anything clever to say.
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Keep going, you'll find no words of sage advice or solace here.
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I help things make holes in other things.
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