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Subject: Sad news ONLY. Come join in the misery. rss

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Caroline Berg
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Jythier wrote:
adularia25 wrote:
Yeah, it's the not knowing who is replacing my boss that's the problem right now... because despite our meeting this morning, we still don't know.

And our old boss isn't allowed to do any work (he can come in for the next 60 days to put his affairs in order, or search for jobs from work, but can't do actual work we need done for the team) which puts us in an awkward limbo. Some people need manager level permissions for things... and until we have a new boss, we can't get them.


What nonsense.

Yup. Utterly ridiculous. How is taking someone away before we have a replacement a good idea?
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Geoffrey Burrell
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Denver Broncos of the NFL had a death with their owner Pat Bowlen. He was 75. He passed away 6/13/2019.
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adularia25 wrote:
Spirit of 70 wrote:
Carrie, as someone who has been working in an environment with crazy high attrition for the last four years, I completely sympathize. Whatever happens, I hope that you are able to get into a work situation that will be good for you, and helpful to you in becoming your best possible self.

Thanks. I hope so too. I thought this was a good place! Heh, I should have remembered Amazon is known for pulling this kind of stuff.
Carrie, so sorry to hear about this stress, I don't know why management always seems so clueless most of the time, I guess they didn't get there for their brains or empathy. Hopefully things will settle down, but I know it's really hard to get over loss of coworkers, and so rare that it's done with care. May a brighter day come.
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IceFire1424 wrote:
manukajoe wrote:
Feeling down in the dumps. Just split up with my latest girlfriend. I am really bad at this dating thing. Feel like giving up. But also don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Breaking up sucks, especially when you're the instigator. But I just didn't think there was enough glue between us. Cultural differences, language barrier, personality differences. I feel bad, especially for her daughter.


I'm really sorry it didn't work out for you Simon. Some of those differences are hard to overcome, and sometimes can prove to be insurmountable. It's unfortunate.

Don't give up. I've found that sometimes things have a way of working out when we least expect them to, and it only requires us to press on, and live our lives the best way we can. During our time here we inevitably meet people and lose people. Some stay in our lives for awhile, while other relationships are fleeting. I personally think all of those relationships help us define who we really are, and discover what is important to us. Whether we realize it or not, I really think we take away something from every relation ship that we have, and that continues to shape us as people.

Anyways, I'm sure it's going to take some time to process this. Find something that makes you happy, and take time for yourself. Get a new game you've been meaning to try out. Go explore somewhere. Treat yourself to a favorite meal. Those little things can make a huge difference in your mentality.

Take care buddy.
Thanks Pat, I appreciate your comments. I am still agonising over my decision. I had a moment of clarity where I realised I could have a decent relationship with her but it's just that it wouldn't really be the kind of relationship I've dreamed of, as we don't connect as adult-adult, if you know what I mean (transactional analysis speak). Everything I've read says that it is a bad idea to "settle". But on the other hand there is more than one viable model of relationship in the world. And there are lot of things about her that I appreciate and value. Which are hard to let go of.
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Gahhhh, sorry for the work difficulties Carrie. This is one of those rare situations where I feel I can relate to an extent, and I know how frustrating it can be. As others have said, I hope this serves as a catalyst to something better, and that the transition towards whatever that may be isn't too painful.

To be perfectly honest though? I'm not too concerned. Why? Anyone who "knows" you from our time here on the 'geek knows you are an incredibly strong, bad@$$ woman who faces all her challenges head on, regardless if that challenge is Python, a competitor in roller derby, or a @#$% situation at work. When you put your mind to something, you overcome. Simply put. You don't need a pat on the shoulder and for somebody to say "it'll be okay" - you just need to have that inner fire lit, and then we all sit by and watch as you rampage all over whatever obstacle happens to be in your way. Speaking of which...

anjulka wrote:
Carrie, that sucks. Gentle punch to shoulder.


Great gesture Rose, but not enough. I'll take this one.

/blistering bodycheck to the boards.

You've got this.
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Caroline Berg
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manukajoe wrote:
adularia25 wrote:
Spirit of 70 wrote:
Carrie, as someone who has been working in an environment with crazy high attrition for the last four years, I completely sympathize. Whatever happens, I hope that you are able to get into a work situation that will be good for you, and helpful to you in becoming your best possible self.

Thanks. I hope so too. I thought this was a good place! Heh, I should have remembered Amazon is known for pulling this kind of stuff.
Carrie, so sorry to hear about this stress, I don't know why management always seems so clueless most of the time, I guess they didn't get there for their brains or empathy. Hopefully things will settle down, but I know it's really hard to get over loss of coworkers, and so rare that it's done with care. May a brighter day come.

Thank you. We're still in limbo in that we have no manager and no idea of who our new manager will be. It's weird. None of my tasks or day-to-day work has changed. But the tone of the workplace is much subdued, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And we have started getting more people on our team, moved over from other teams...
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Caroline Berg
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IceFire1424 wrote:
Gahhhh, sorry for the work difficulties Carrie. This is one of those rare situations where I feel I can relate to an extent, and I know how frustrating it can be. As others have said, I hope this serves as a catalyst to something better, and that the transition towards whatever that may be isn't too painful.

To be perfectly honest though? I'm not too concerned. Why? Anyone who "knows" you from our time here on the 'geek knows you are an incredibly strong, bad@$$ woman who faces all her challenges head on, regardless if that challenge is Python, a competitor in roller derby, or a @#$% situation at work. When you put your mind to something, you overcome. Simply put. You don't need a pat on the shoulder and for somebody to say "it'll be okay" - you just need to have that inner fire lit, and then we all sit by and watch as you rampage all over whatever obstacle happens to be in your way. Speaking of which...

anjulka wrote:
Carrie, that sucks. Gentle punch to shoulder.


Great gesture Rose, but not enough. I'll take this one.

/blistering bodycheck to the boards.

You've got this.

Thanks!

I took the time Thursday night to apply to three jobs, then I joined the RPG Writer Workshop for July over the weekend, and found a few more jobs listed there. So this might be a blessing in disguise.
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Good news after some really sad news some years back: the pædophile who molested our children was sentenced to nineteen years in gaol last week.
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paulidale wrote:
Good news after some really sad news some years back: the pædophile who molested our children was sentenced to nineteen years in gaol last week.
that's a heavy burden Paul, at least you got some justice. May healing continue
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Paul Dale
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manukajoe wrote:
May healing continue


It will be a long time yet, if ever


Pauli
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paulidale wrote:
manukajoe wrote:
May healing continue


It will be a long time yet, if ever


Pauli
I cant being to understand what it's like to be a father in that situation. Yeah it may be the kind of thing you and your kids may never really get over, but rather learn to live with.
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paulidale wrote:
manukajoe wrote:
May healing continue


It will be a long time yet, if ever


Of course it'll heal, and it's perfectly possible.

I am not trying to belittle the pain here, truly not, but I know of several cases where the "I will never heal again" has become a crutch. It's a horrible experience, but all horrible experiences can be healed and overcome.

My step sister was raped once and realized that it was when she started to think of it as the same as being "violated and beaten and got a blackened eye and a cracked nose" (she didn't, but she used the analogy of being raped as the same as being violently beaten), that she stopped regarding herself as helplessly scarred for life.

I'd advice to not tip-toe too much around it, and try to gradually see it the same as any other violence. It heals, both physically and mentally.
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paulidale wrote:
Good news after some really sad news some years back: the pædophile who molested our children was sentenced to nineteen years in gaol last week.


Damn...I'm actually not sure what to say here. What happened is horrible. I can't imagine what you had to go through. I'm glad justice was (finally) served, and hope that you and the family are able to heal and move on from such an event.

I'm sorry Paul.
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That must have been so awful for your son, yourself and your family.

I wouldn't agree with Simon though, from the little I know from having a rape victim in my family. It's possible to heal, of course, but I think it's significantly harder to reach 100% recovery than for other kinds of violence.

But I know everyone is different, and more power to Simon's step-sister if she managed just that. She must be a unusually strong person.

And I suppose the age of the victim at the time of the assault is also significant in how far you can recover.
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Caroline Berg
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paulidale wrote:
manukajoe wrote:
May healing continue


It will be a long time yet, if ever


Pauli

The trust in other people will likely never fully come back, there will always be a wariness under the surface, and a pulling back from friendship offered. But that doesn't mean they can't learn to love someone or have friends, just that it takes more time.

Like Simon's step-sister, my sister has recovered from her assault, though she was in high school when it happened.

But we were both abused (though not sexually) as children, and that creates a bigger burden to get over. It tends to live with you longer, and become ingrained in who you are. I still flinch when people argue. And it is why I have to know everything that is going on in any situation (because it is easier to prepare when you know what is coming next...)

Counseling can help - but I found that reading fantasy books where characters went through what I went through and survived helped even more.

If nothing else, have them read about Diana Wynne Jones' actual life. She had a pretty miserable childhood yet grew up to be an awesome author.

There is always hope, though it can be a long time coming to realize it.
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paulidale wrote:
Good news after some really sad news some years back: the pædophile who molested our children was sentenced to nineteen years in gaol last week.


Oh man. 19 years does not seem like enough, but I'm glad they were charged with that much at least.
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Thanks for the kind words and support. The case took three and a half years to wend through the legal system and this gives some closure. Time heals.
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Sykurmoli wrote:
I wouldn't agree with Simon though, from the little I know from having a rape victim in my family. It's possible to heal, of course, but I think it's significantly harder to reach 100% recovery than for other kinds of violence.


I know, and this specific fact annoys me. It shouldn't be harder to reach recovery, really. I think it's such a huge pity if you spend the rest of your life as "the scarred one that can't be fixed". I think (believe) that the best way to recover is to realize that such should not be the case.

I have a pal who was badly beaten at a bar nearby. The damage took three months to heal. It took a year before he felt secure enough to walk by the bar. But does any friend of his now regard him as "the guy who was beaten"? No, we don't. We don't care. We've forgotten until we're reminded, and I don't think it even passes his mind these days. It's my hope that one can view a rape as the same thing: A horrible violation that you put behind you.

paulidale wrote:
Thanks for the kind words and support. The case took three and a half years to wend through the legal system and this gives some closure. Time heals.


Now, THAT takes longer time to heal. Legal systems… brrr!!!! All courage to you, and kudos for going through it. The frustration over the slow and snail-wise legal system, when everything is so obvious, is horrible and hirroble and terrible and absolutely insufferable. All power to you for going through it, and well done!
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Came into work this morning and was told that my client is choosing to end the contract I work on. Apparently, they actually wanted to end the agreement in December, but the manager who I work under managed to convince her bosses to keep extending the contract by a month behind the scenes. Honestly, that she was able to do that for 7 months is pretty incredible. It’s just unfortunate because I had established myself as a SME and felt like I was a real asset, and they agreed, but it’s all about money right now.

I’m not too worried about getting put on another contract/team; I’m sure there is something available that I’m a good fit for. But learning an entirely new team and potentially completely new job duties is always a bit daunting. It’s definitely outside of my comfort zone. At the very least, I think I established a great working relationship with a lot of the folks that work for the client, and their opinion can go a long way towards getting something else.

We’ll see what happens. My contract runs through the end of the month.
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Caroline Berg
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Oof. Best of luck.
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Ah, unfortunate Gabe. One of the many downsides to contract work for sure (as Carrie can certainly attest). I'm sure your skills will be transferable to a new project and you'll be picked up quickly, I just hope the transition is quick and painless for you.

Keep us in the loop!
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That's a bummer, Gabe. Good luck with the next step.
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Got a call Friday about a potential new project. I have a meeting with two of the project leads on Tuesday. The only issue is that they need someone ideally before my last day on my current project, and we need every day we can get to make sure I transfer as much knowledge/info to the rest of the team as possible before I leave. It doesn't help that I go on vacation next week; these things always seem to happen at the worst possible times.

Also, my best friend works for a different part of the company, and there happens to be an opening on his team as well, so that may work out. There are prospects for a quick transition to another team at the very least.
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ghostpants wrote:
Got a call Friday about a potential new project. I have a meeting with two of the project leads on Tuesday. The only issue is that they need someone ideally before my last day on my current project, and we need every day we can get to make sure I transfer as much knowledge/info to the rest of the team as possible before I leave. It doesn't help that I go on vacation next week; these things always seem to happen at the worst possible times.

Also, my best friend works for a different part of the company, and there happens to be an opening on his team as well, so that may work out. There are prospects for a quick transition to another team at the very least.


Wrong thread.
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Jythier wrote:
Wrong thread.


IceFire1424 wrote:
Keep us in the loop!
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